The worst of the European airports

ROME: As we sat for an hour waiting to deplane at Leonardo da Vinci Airport from a short-haul flight this year, the pilot got on the public address system. "Sorry," he intoned. "Everybody knows this is one of Europe's worst airports."

At the time it seemed hard to argue: After the 50-minute flight and the wait to get off the plane, we would wait another hour around a carousel before receiving our luggage.

But these days, there is intense competition for the title of "worst airport."

Each year, the World Airport Awards, given by an air travel research and consulting firm called Skytrax, honor the best airports. Only a few in Europe made the top 10 this year: Munich is No. 4, Zurich is No. 6, Amsterdam Schiphol is No. 7 and Madrid Barajas is No. 10. The top three are in Asia, while no U.S. airports made the list.

While passenger numbers have skyrocketed in the past decade, airports have expanded in a makeshift fashion, leaving travelers to hike longer and longer distances. The treks are best suited for marathoners, doable for fit mortals. I am not quite sure how people with children or those who are elderly or have disabilities are expected to handle them.

Add to that the fact that air traffic and security procedures have both grown more onerous, and bad airport experiences far outnumber the good ones. So outing the worst airports may be more useful than praising the best.

In that spirit, and as a frequent flier around Europe, I have polled my fellow road warriors over the past two months - on airplanes, in security lines and at taxi ranks - to come up with an entirely unscientific survey of Europe's worst.

And though I am no statistician, I think it must be significant that nearly everyone gives the same response: London Heathrow is, hands down, the worst, cited by 100 percent of respondents, as the scientists say.

Charles de Gaulle outside Paris came in a close second. Leonardo da Vinci at Fiumicino, near Rome, and the Frankfurt airport won honorable, or should I say dishonorable, mentions.

"Heathrow is horrible," said Howard Brennan, a businessman from the United States. "You wouldn't believe the waits. It's too congested, and you have to sprint to get between gates. If you fly first class they are sometimes helpful, but only sometimes, even then."

Jeffrey Pappin, a business consultant in London, said it was "always amusing to look at the signs that inform you that it takes 25 minutes to walk to a particular gate." As for Heathrow's amenities, Pappin said, "One only knows through experience and secret knowledge where the restrooms and business lounges are tucked away."

To be fair, London, as a target of terrorism, has particularly pressing security issues. Nevertheless, the lines for passport control for non-EU citizens can take hours, even at odd times of the day. I recently had the misfortune to arrive at Heathrow from Rome late at night, around the same time as jumbos from Moscow; Almaty, Kazakhstan; Islamabad; Lagos; and other far-flung locations.

The line through an airless tunnel was long, the wait 90 minutes long, and British airport employees yelled nearly nonstop to those in the line that they should "step aside" (to where?) to allow EU residents through.

Another common complaint about London is the British security policy that strictly limits carry-on luggage to one bag. That includes laptops, purses, briefcases, the works. To get into the security area, you must have it all in one. The result is the human traffic jam outside the screening area as people attempt to cram laptops into handbags or handbags into laptop carriers.

The policy seems particularly pointless because the second you show that it can all be put together and pass into the security area, you are harangued with announcements asking you to unbundle it again, removing laptops, wallet and liquids for inspection.

(Helpful hint: Bring a fold-up bag into which you can dump your computer and briefcase or handbag.)

One good point about Heathrow: It has a remarkably efficient, if expensive, connection to central London, the Heathrow Express train to Paddington Station, which takes 15 minutes and costs from £14.50, or more than $28, for a one-way ticket.

If Heathrow is like being on a Long March, then Charles de Gaulle in Paris, according to one fellow traveler, is "like being in an Escher print."

The terminals, A through F, look identical and are widely spread out. The signs are poor. Ask an airport employee where to find the check-in counter for your flight and you often get bad advice. And then you are far from your boarding gate.

Security lines for check-in and especially for transfers to flights leaving the European Union are endless, inefficient and poorly organized, so forget about making tight international connections. Airlines like Air France and Lufthansa still sell flights as if post-9/11 security had never happened. They will allow travel agents to book transfers in Paris and Frankfurt with less than an hour between flights. Not a chance you will make a connection in that time!

The various hotels around Charles de Gaulle do a great business playing host to connecting passengers who have missed flights.

"If you don't know the airport, it's really hard to find things," said Nada Kranjc, from Ptuj, Slovenia. "And no one is very pleasant."

Yes: The worst thing is that when you have missed your plane or cannot figure out which of the lines leads to your connecting flight or need helping interpreting the brave new world of airport security, you are at the mercy of indifferent, aloof Parisian airline or airport employees.

In Britain, airport employees hand out clear zip-lock plastic bags in which passengers are required to place carry-on liquids and gels. At CDG it is another matter: Last week a colleague bought a sealed box of expensive perfume that, security personnel decided, required an additional clear plastic bag. In Paris, it turns out, those have to be purchased - back in the concourse - for 10 euro cents, or nearly 15 U.S. cents, at a stationery store called Relay.

After racing to Relay and returning with said plastic bag, the colleague was informed that it was the wrong one. When, about to miss her flight, she exploded in Italian, she was rebuked by a screener: "You have to speak French here!"

It is a particularly galling (Gaulle-ing?) experience.

Mention Frankfurt airport to frequent fliers between Europe and the United States and you are bound to hear about the "rainbow" tunnel, a subterranean tube illuminated with varicolored neon lights. It seems miles long and ends in mountainous staircases in both directions. There are two very slow elevators as alternatives to the stairs.

"The place is really annoying," said Walter Konkin, an American.

And is Brussels a generally efficient airport? Happy that your flight arrived on time? You'll still be late.

"It is as though they wanted to disguise the fact that Belgium is a small country by having you walk for miles and miles to baggage claim," Pappin said.

Leonardo da Vinci did not rank highest in my survey of bad airports. But I suspect that is largely because it is small and not a frequent transfer point and because people expect Italy to be somewhat dysfunctional.

"I don't know," said Julia Pool, a lawyer who travels frequently in Europe. "When you wait in London it's really irritating, but when you wait in Rome it feels charming."

Objectively, Leonardo da Vinci is dirty. Gate assignments change with the wind. Your plane lands on time, and then you wait for the Italian airport guy to open the door. (Espresso time?)

But what really stands out are the incredibly long lines to check in for U.S. flights and the abysmal luggage handling. No Roman who can help it checks luggage here.

One Saturday this autumn on my way to New York, the check-in line for flights stretched the entire length of the terminal (and out the door) and was 10 people wide. It took two to three hours of dragging luggage forward by inches to reach the desk. People with walkers and carrying screaming infants were not excused.

There were occasional announcements calling people on imminently departing flights to the front of the line. But - Catch-22 - that helped only if you were close enough to the front of the line to hear them.

I got two explanations for the congestion: Cruise ships arrive in Rome on Saturdays, and there was an undefined "problem" with luggage handling. It must have been a big problem since, when the belt started turning at the carousel at JFK airport in New York, it turned out that not a single checked bag had made it onto the plane.

In my survey I tried to be positive, always asking about best airports as well. Munich, Zurich, Schiphol and Barajas were praised, as well as a few smaller airports. Shannon in Ireland won plaudits because, as Konkin said, "at least there you can get a pint of Guinness when you're stuck."

In many cases there is little one can do to prevent airport stress these days - and most of my respondents noted that airport experiences are even worse in the United States. So perhaps the best course is to resort to skills I have learned in Italy: Lower expectations, slow down a bit and enjoy the moment, wherever.

On a recent flight between Rome and London, my seatmate, Gaetano Pace, gave me a list of the airports he disliked (Heathrow, Frankfurt, Charles de Gaulle) and those he liked (Barajas and Schiphol). But then he added: "You know, you have to spend so much time in airports these days that what matters to me is whether there are nice shops, a good bar or a restaurant."

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