A Service Alert From MTA New York City Transit

[Matt Molnar]

Copied this from someone's LiveJournal, not sure if they made it or copied it from somwhere else.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/alert.gif

MTA New York City Transit

Service Alert
Posted on:8/10/2007 at 4:52pm

Due to a single droplet of water falling from the sky mistaken for rain that was actually condensation from an air conditioner in a 17th floor apartment, there are delays on the following subway lines:

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/1.gif trains are running between 14th Street and 18th Street in both directions.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/2.gif and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/3.gif uptown trains will terminate at 96th Street, as the conductors don't feel like going to Harlem.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/4.gif, http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/5.gif, and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/6.gif trains will be making two loops around Central Park before getting you to your destination, because they need some fresh air.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subway/7.gif trains are enjoying a hot dog and beer at Willets Point-Shea Stadium and will resume normal operation once the game is over.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/a.gif, http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/b.gif, http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/c.gif and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/d.gif trains are not running at all, because they really just don't have time for your crap today.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/e.gif trains are running express in Manhattan, enjoying the nice cool breeze they get from going 30 miles an hour.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/f.gif and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/v.gif trains are stuck in some neighborhood in Queens that you've never heard of.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/g.gif trains are currently experiencing an inferiority complex and will not run until further notice/counseling.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/j.gif, http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/m.gif, and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/z.gif trains are running normally, of course, since nobody ever uses these trains.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/l.gif trains are running between Princeton Junction and Hoboken. We really can't explain how they ended up there.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/n.gif and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/q.gif trains are currently running on the Cyclone track at Coney Island-Stillwell Ave.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/r.gif and http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/w.gif trains are feeling nostalgic right now, and are currently running over the Brooklyn Bridge.

http://www.mta.info/siteimages/subwaybullets/s.gif service is suspended between Times Square-42nd Street and Grand Central-42nd Street. You can just walk. You do have legs, don't you?

We would apologize for the inconvenience, but we like to watch you suffer.

Thank you for riding with MTA New York City Transit!

[Mateo]

Admittedly, the Dinky to the L to the PATH is just as easy to get to Midtown, and at a fifth of the price!

/Nostalgic for the days of NYPNYP. All you Long Islanders have no idea what I'm talking about :)

[Nonstop2AUH]

Wonder if this disruption caused Bloomberg to take the SUV all the way today

[Mellyrose]

This is really, really, really funny.