advice on meetin this girl::

[N790SW]

hey guys

listen today i just found out i am meetin this girl i have been talkin to for a wile and shes really nice and stuff and shes real not some 45 year old dude with an agenda. anyways i am feelin madd nervous right now and i would like advice from you guys on this - how should i act- what should i say that kinda thing. plzzz...

thanx and please wish me luck on this :shock: as i am madd nervous lol .

[Hyder]

"be like david caruso in jade"

[UrbanExplorer222]

and shes real not some 45 year old dude with an agenda

No but its some 500 pound trailer park trash woman with an agenda... "GIT R DONE!!"

[Matt Molnar]

Alcohol.

[Mellyrose]

Flunitrazepam (hey, that's how Phil got me! :?)

[JRadier]

hey guys

listen today i just found out i am meetin this girl i have been talkin to for a wile and shes really nice and stuff and shes real not some 45 year old dude with an agenda. anyways i am feelin madd nervous right now and i would like advice from you guys on this - how should i act- what should i say that kinda thing. plzzz...

thanx and please wish me luck on this :shock: as i am madd nervous lol .
Not exactly an expert either (and that's an understatement), but be yourself!

Good luck, and let us know how it went

[PhilDernerJr]

If you want some serious advice, what are your goals with this girl? Lookin to develop a girlfriend or something more casual? Granted, it's probably too early to know exactly what you want from HER specifically, but you should know what you're hoping to do.

I'm assuming you're not lookin for a booty call. So, just do your best to stay calm. I know how the nerves and adrenaline can act up on you, but just breathe and do your hardest to be yourself. You want this girl to like you for YOU, so don't put on any act. Act confident and happy, as that goes a long way.

Mel knew that I was an ******* from the start. I didn't put on any act, and there were no surprises. She apparently found something that she did like in me (she LOVES website aministrators w00t!!1!), and I'm lucky for that.

[N790SW]

soo phil what did mel see in you aside your mucslles lol =P but i wonder how she went from thinkin your an ******* to you two lookin like you were made for one another? i am aslo gettin her flowers too soo i hope shed like them too - her name is christina btw =) and it seems like she does soo far i mean she got into planes with me and she likes southwest and she told her fam about me and them =) soo i guess thts even more cool- she wants me to fly her on the shamu plane too =)

[Mellyrose]

I never thought he was an ******* (I knew)...but seriously, what he meant is that he never put on a facade to "fool" me into thinking he was some chivalrous casanova (though shockingly, sometimes he is....shhhhhh).

Flowers are always a sweet gesture, but if you're going to get them, do it right and get really nice ones. Girls know when you've stopped at a deli on the way to the date to pick her up lilies as opposed to when you've actually put some thought into it - find out her absolute favorite color and find only that color flower, and a couple different types. She'll appreciate the fact that you were thoughtful of her.

When is the big day?

[N790SW]

the big day is on friday =) and when i talked to her friend she was like i am gettin to meet bobby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol and i know she likes pink roses soo maybe ill try that. also when i see her should i give her a kiss on the cheek or let her do that first. -- phil is a good guy mel :D

[PhilDernerJr]

Honestly, I would avoid flowers. I think it's a bad first date move. You want the girl to like you for YOU, not for what you can buy her or give her.

Save the flowers for a later date, once you know a little bit more about her and whether or not you actually like her. Then, the flowers are a gesture of your developed feelings, and lets her know that you do like her.....not that you just want to shower her with gifts.

Make sure it's a two-way street, also. Make sure that if you progress, that she meets your gestures by gestures of her own. In dating, many peopel will just sit back and let the other kiss their ass, and that's not right. You'd then open up yourself to being **** on.

Dating is not about convincing, begging, tricking, playing games or seeking approval. It's about finding that right person for you, and you shouldn't have to go out of your way when searching for that connection. Going out of your way for that person and doing those cute things should be reserved for once you see that you both like each other and want to build something strong.

Or it's about finding a hot ass for the night. Either way.

And if Mel wanted me for my muscles, then she must be very disappointed with my weight loss form not having gone to the gym in 7 months. lol

[N790SW]

hey phil or mel in this case- when u guys first like got together- did you like hug her first or anything like that . and also i heard let her kiss u first or something- idk about that, but it deff seems like she likes me for who i am cuz like i said b4 she got into the whole plane thing with me and thats somethin i really neva saw b4 and i just hope it all works out - but as far as what i want - i pretty much dk that yet i wanna see how it goes, noo iam not in for the " bootycall" or anything else like that because its not me and she already thinks i am a great guy soo why ruin that right.

[Mellyrose]

I spoil Phil rotten and he loves it...don't listen to him! :P

I was just going to make a big muscle joke...but I'm a lady.

[PhilDernerJr]

Well, it sounds like you're meeting her from the internet, so don't take too much stock in what she thinks of you jsutyet, because when you're eye-to-eye with her, thigns cna change fast, for better or worse.

If you are as "e-close" as you imply, maybe a kiss on the cheek and a brief hug would be normal. Just try to not make it look awkward. Go in for it as though it's assumed. She won't be creeped out, and if she is, you don't want her anyway.

As for "the" kiss, that's up to you. If you get a lot of positive body language and conversation from her, then maybe go for it. If you're not 100% sure, then maybe wait for the second date.

[N790SW]

hey since i did meet her online and stuff and did acutally talk to her on the phone - and she does know what i look like - what are the chances of it goin to " worse" and also what are the chances of her actually still thinkin tht . cuuz i no i am not tht ugly lol heres my myspace ill let u all judge tht one =P http://www.myspace.com/bobby2470

[Mellyrose]

Our first date was a bit different than what you might be going into for many many reasons, but one thing holds true. ASSESS the situation...just try and feel it out the best you can and things should go smoothly. Especially since you don't want to ruin her impression of you being a great guy, and it seems as though there is a definite friendship chemistry there, you should accept the possibility that you might work better as friends. Even if a girl is very pretty and you have a lot in common, you have to remember that not everyone is compatible romantically. If you keep that in mind, the comfort level should maintain, and you'll be able to follow each other's lead.

Hope we're helping you!

[PhilDernerJr]

Honestly, I've met women off of the internet before. Without being face to face and actually seeing how you INTERACT, it's tough to build TRUE feelings off of the internet and phone. Internet or not, you can take two people that are sweet, caring and have the SAME interests, but if you don't have that connection when together, it just won't work.

One thing about getting to know someone online romantically is that people usually build up this amazing personality-image of how a person if in their heads. That vision in that person's imagination is what they develop feelings on, and all too often, the reality doesn't match what you were expecting.

Talking to her online is ok. But you can't see her gestures or mannerisms. You can't see that look in someone's eye that tells you if they are lying or sincere. You can't see how you interact with affection, or deal with problems.

Therefore, I think it's important to maybe gain interest in someone online, but never let your feelings get too wrapped up, because you won't be able to see what a person is really about until you are face to face. And even then, you could be wrong.

[N790SW]

yeaa thats deff true phil but imho since i know her friends and stuff that she seems like " who she said she is " and i hope thats the case. Eventhough i havent met her yet i think shes a really nice girl and i told her shes beautiful too weither that helps or not. I just hope this all works out -a-o-k ya know - how did they turn out to be when u met them phil?

[Mellyrose]

Are you asking Phil how it went when he met women from the internet? haha...well, obviously not TOO great, considering he's with me now ;)

Also, whether or not she is who she and her friends say she is, you guys might just not be compatible. Don't get your hopes up. The worst thing to have is expectations, because then you have a better chance of being disappointed.

[N790SW]

yeaa and like what phil said thats truee too but lets all hope it goes good and lets hope she is who she said she is =-) eveyone plzz keep ur fingers crossed- mann mel and phill are good with advice =P as well as the others who participated in this topic too =)

[PhilDernerJr]

Well, it's not about whether she is who she says she is and not evne about whether you have stuff in common or not. It's about a CONNECTION, that CLICK, that I just don't think is possible to feel online.

Sorry for mentioning past experiences in MEls presence, but I've had a wide range of date outcomes, internet and real. The most important thing is to not get your hopes up and don't settle for less than what you want and DESERVE. I've walked out on dates because of a girl's inappropriate behavior, or kindly ended them early if I just didn't think it was working out.

You might show up and this girl might not like you, or you might not like her. Keep in mind that there will be more in your future to pick from. You don't need this girl or her approval, so if it's not working out, don't get upset, don't get angry, just move on. There' ll be another around the corner.

[N790SW]

well thats deff somethin to think about but i wonder what are the chances of it working out a-ok ya no. its just somethin i would like to know. and maybe this will work or not work out. =) like i said lets just keep our fingers crossed =-)

[PhilDernerJr]

Though the chance of you and her working out might be ok, the odds of her being THE ONE are even smaller. People usually go through several or many many relationships before finding the right one for them. Though you shouldn't expect it to fail, you NEED TO prepare yourself for the possibility of it not working, else you'll end up hurt or scorned.

Going into things with a positive attitude, yet NO expectations also helps you stay calm and be yourself more.

[N790SW]

yeaa cuz i mean if i am not calm maybe that would hurt things even more. also when u2 first met- how did u break the ice as far as convos go - i mean ino i can bring up a few since she does live near ISP =-) but i just want to no wht else should i bring up cuz ino she cant wait till i fly her to the bahamas and stuff... and shes not tht greddy person. or at least i hope..

[Mellyrose]

Like I said before, you can't really compare us to you. First of all, we are much older and experienced (that's not meant to be an insult) and also, we DID end up having a lot of chemistry and things in common. We are also very similar in how we interact with people, and that made things go even more smoothly. It's really all about chemistry. There aren't any odds that you or anyone else can put on this.

Also, don't promise her anything extravagant...that's no way into a DECENT woman's heart.

[Matt Molnar]

Also, don't promise her anything extravagant...that's no way into a DECENT woman's heart.

http://www.webgeordie.co.uk/borat/images/dat02.jpg
How big a gift will get me entry to her vajin?

[N790SW]

thanx guyz for all ur advice and lets just hope it all works out great- and from what my friends who know her have been tellin me and these ppl i have seen b4 are all trust worthy. now the only thing left to do is keep our fingers crossed- mel and phil thanx a billion. but as far as the flowres thing - i was thinkin just a rose and a teddy bear- its just somethin i have to do cuz shes helped me out through alotta garbage in which i cant really mention here. and that would be the reason why- not to buy her love- hopefully ill have that already. thanx guys u guys are great friends to me =)

ps- if ur a little nervous - is it ok for you to show a girl that you are.

[Nick]

Lie about yourself, don't talk about your past, and roll in a sweet whip.

[N790SW]

good one nick - ill roll in a nice ferrari - wear a suit and sweeep her off her feet =P

[USAF Pilot 07]

Dude don't stress it. Either it's going to work or it's not. Like Phil said, it's that "Click" and chemistry that will most likely ultimately decide whether or not the relationship will or will not work.

This sounds like your first "date" and understandably you're nervous about making a good first impression and making the girl like you.

That being said, at first you WILL act differently around her than you normally do. But the "acting differently" should not be too forced. That "click" or chemistry, if it's there, may not be apparent your first date or two. Complementing your date, "being a gentleman", holding certain things back that you'd normally say or do in front of your friends are all things most guys try to do on their first date. You want to establish a "comfortable" relationship, and you don't make to make the girl feel uncomfortable or afraid to open up and talk or be like "who is this guy?!" before really getting to know you. You want to make an effort to act "gentlemanly". It sounds that having talked to her on the phone will make this easier than it would if you were on a blind date (in the traditional sense).
At the same time, you don't want to be constantly bombarding her with compliments and the like, because after a while the girl will probably get tired of it, and will begin to believe that you're just saying these things to be nice.
You want to sound sincere in everything you say and do.

After a while you two will either start to develop a chemistry that is there, and feel more comfortable around each other and begin to open up your "personal" lives up to each other a little more, or the chemistry just won't be there. There's something about being with and around a person that can't be felt over the phone or the internet.

Too many guys, myself in past instances included, try too hard to make a girl they like, who really doesn't have the same feelings towards them, and try to make something work out of nothing. Guys will spend money, many times money they don't have, on girls, or will treat them like "goddesses" (with no real sincerity behind it), just hoping maybe the girl will start to develop feelings for them. Ultimately these guys are never truly happy themselves because they are trying to make a relationship that wasn't meant to work, work; and many of these guys (again myself included) end up kicking themselves for trying so hard and expending so much energy, "heart" and money on someone who never felt the same way about them.

In short, I say be yourself but have some tact (if you don't have any) at first and then start to open up a little more. After a while there'll either be something there or there won't. You'll know it, and you'll know if she feels the same way or not. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't. Don't expend your energy, money and hurt your heart trying to make something work.

Anyway, most of this advice is for a few dates down the road, and some of it may be confusing; I apologize if it is. I tried to put it the way I feel and as simply as possible, but it's tough to describe, because after a while of being around girls and being in the whole "scene" you'll either know if there's something there or not, and if you two are compatible.

[Mellyrose]

Wow, it's kind of interesting being the only female involved with this thread. I feel like I am watching the inner workings of a secret "boy-realm" and it's quite interesting.

It's funny how guys are just as nervous and vulnerable as girls are, though we usually think otherwise.

[Garri767]

Wow, it's kind of interesting being the only female involved with this thread. I feel like I am watching the inner workings of a secret "boy-realm" and it's quite interesting.

It's funny how guys are just as nervous and vulnerable as girls are, though we usually think otherwise.


hehe, i feel the same way, although being 40 i guess im a little dated when it comes to this stuff so i guess i should just watch

[USAF Pilot 07]

It's funny how guys are just as nervous and vulnerable as girls are, though we usually think otherwise.

Hahaha... nervous?... vulnerable?... guys?.. Don't know what in the hell you're talking about... Now pass the beer and red meat... :wink:

[Matt Molnar]

It's funny how guys are just as nervous and vulnerable as girls are, though we usually think otherwise.

Sometimes we forget that girls get nervous and insecure too, probably more so than us. We "put the p---y on a pedestal" as that dude in 40 Year Old Virgin said so eloquently. :)

[N790SW]

well tomorrows the big day folks. wish me alotta luck and ill post it on here how it turns out .


thanx for all your help you guys are awwsome!!!.

[USAF Pilot 07]

Good luck man!

[lijk604]

Good luck bro

[N790SW]

hey guys::


it worked out great with me and christina - allthough it was our first time seein each other- it was awwsome - and we had a great time - but i gotta ? for you all- i saw her check me out a few times- or rather her lookin at me - soo do u think thats good- i mean she her eyes were kinda locked onto mine lol - but advice on this is needed- thanxx :D

[Mellyrose]

Kid, you're on your own from here! Use your intuition to get a sense of what kind of natural chemistry you have. You were there, we weren't! haha.

Just be confident and don't over-analyze or else you'll end up scaring her.

[lijk604]

Take it one day at a time kid. Like the others have said, dont stress it, or it will be over before you know it. Dont try to hard, just be yourself.

[N790SW]

yeaa all of you are right. its somethin ill deff take my time with - but i am glad it all worked out today- it was surely an awwsome day..!!!

[JRadier]

Congrats,

but why is it every time I read 'awwsome' I see one of the Teutels in my mind?