Your Worst Flights (Turbulence, other pax, etc...)

[Big Tim #70]

Duct tape works wonders...

So does a backhand...

My kid did that to some poor guy on the way back from MCO (No, it wasn't John). I tried so hard to keep him from being the little jerk that he was but was unsuccessful. I appologized up and down & he was very cool about it but I still felt really bad. After we got everything wrapped up & got off the plane, I noticed him sitting at the bar in the terminal. I walked up to the bartender & paid for the drink he was having as well as his next 2 rounds. 1 drink for every hour he had to endure my little monster, although not enough, was a good start at reperations.

Parents who write off bad behavior of thier kids as "Kids being Kids" need to be Pimpslapped.

[megatop412]

My story is not a great story, but short of an airplane crash, this will top all others (Maybe tie Jeremy's, that is a kick ass horror story). I have had nightmares about this flight.... And I am sorry to say Tommy, it was TWA!

Come on man, let us have the story...I turned my laptop on just to see if you submitted it yet! Especially given that it was Trans World

[Derf]

727-200ADV flight to hell

18 years ago I was traveling to Arizona with my Fiancé and left for the airport on a very damp evening with way to many bags. Getting them from the car to the check-in was difficult as I was taking heavy luggage for my brother who moved out years earlier from N.Y. and it was humid, getting foggy and 90+ degrees. In checking I started getting nauseous from a smell at the check-in that I could not place. The security check was nothing to talk about compared to today's check-in but I did not know that the fun was about to begin!

I am sorry if I offend anyone, this is how I perceived it and my thoughts. I do not mean to disrespect anyone else's religion or beliefs.

As we were walking to the gate there was a horrible smell, we get to the gate and there was middle eastern women only on this flight. Their religion makes it that they do not shower on a normal basis and the smell of about 100+ woman was.... OK, I have no words to explain, other than to say my eyes were tearing and I was taking shallow breaths... after about 1 minute Nancy and I took a walk and stood about 3 gates away. We were now very concerned!

Unable to change flights we boarded the aircraft and figured that the blood curdling stench would be better if we were in the front where the air would filter back to the out the rear of the aircraft. As you guessed it, we were sitting in the last seat in front of the Lav (Little did we know how that would help us). The captain announced that we would be pushed back a little late as there were about 50 aircraft waiting before us and we needed to take on more fuel of the wait. We pushed back 15 minutes late and sat...and sat....and sat! After 1 hour the pilot turned off 2 engines and the aircraft went from hot to a hell that can not be explained. Nancy had her nose pushed as deep into my wet armpit as humanly possible. She would moan to me that she loved me soo much in case we would not make it thru the flight (seriously!). Every now and then I would smell the bathroom and I was very relieved to smell the nasty stench from the bathroom (it was welcome to my nose compared to what I was normally smelling). I was remembering the time I was in a 747 over the pacific in the jump seat where we had a rithmic pounding for 1 hour and we were free falling for 10 feet at a rate of once every 8 seconds or so... They would not allow us to descend and they were being real as$es, Engineer threw up all over my feet, the copilot blew chunks all over his instruments and I tried to get out of the cockpit but got thrown into the Engineers vomit on the floor exiting thus being exactly like the cartoon posted earlier...(not sure if the pilot ever blew). Thinking that it was not as bad as what I was currently going threw as I was able to take off my clothes and wash out in the sink and hang up to let dry while I was sitting in the top in my underwear!..... That was not fun but it was nothing like this! 3 hours waiting and the pilot says that we would need to turn back and get more gas and then get back to the end of the line! Nancy tells me that is it and we are not going to AZ, the minute they open the door we are done and thank god as she could not say on-board for an entire trip to AZ. Right on cue, the pilot comes on the PA again as says that there was a break in the fog and we were number 10 to take off and we just might be able to pull this off. At that time Nancy's head splits in half and an alien comes out....... sorry. Yea, we take off after 3 hours of cooking on the ground and now it gets cooler in the aircraft but that does not help the smell... The flight was uneventful and the smell did not get any better the entire way.... in the car on the way back to my parents home we had the windows open the entire way, in 100+ degrees and there was no discussion. Not seeing my parents for a year and not saying one word the entire way home was rough but nothing would have been able to prepare me for that flight or how bad a smell can be. Nothing would ever make me believe that a smell could be worse than vomit itself but it was. If I am ever put in that position again, I will walk to Arizona thank you.


I have had lots of horror flights, dropping a wing 40 degrees due to wake from the plane in front of me at 50 feet on final and such.... Lighting hitting aircraft I was on, vomit fest in a 747 cockpit and pilot almost not able to recover from a spin while showing off.... NOTHING came close this flight. Most of the time I was wishing the plane would crash. Kind of like when you have the flew so bad you wish you were dead...and mean it!

[moose135]

That's all you got, Fred? A few hours in a smelly airplane? I was expecting so much more from your build up. I had two pilots try to kill me!

[Derf]

But Moose.... Nobody blames the pilots for trying!

[megatop412]

That was absolutely disgusting and I felt ill just reading it.

It reminded me of summers on Long Island where we'd be driving around south Nassau and then WHAM- the stench of the Oceanside dumps cooking off would smack you in the face and you would frantically try to figure out which direction to drive off in.

Related but only by a thin thread- you want to talk disgusting- about 6 months after my Dad passed away we went to sell our house upstate since he was really the only one that had used it recently- well no one had been there since the last time he had been there about 6 months before, and somewhere in the interim the damn fridge had died. Dad had meat in there, eggs that had broken, cheeses, fruits and vegetables- the works.

So I come in the house the night before everyone else shows up to clean the house out, and I swore up and down I was going to find a squatter that had broken in and had died in one of the bedrooms. The stench enveloped the entire house, but when I determined it was harshest in the kitchen, I knew. Like an idiot I flung open the freezer and fridge doors at the same time and was greeted by what looked like a pale green vapour that sounded like it was hissing at me. It smelled like 2 hobos that had just rolled in week-old chicken parts before engaging in intercourse on top of one of the Staten Island dumps. During a July heatwave. It was so bad that my poor mother, who has never seen anything she couldn't clean, was sickened as she tried to make some kind of difference. But at least we were able to leave the house every few minutes to catch our breath. Can't imagine being stuck on a plane with that.

And with that, I bid you all a good weekend.

[RDU-JFK]

It smelled like 2 hobos that had just rolled in week-old chicken parts before engaging in intercourse on top of one of the Staten Island dumps. During a July heatwave.

Brilliant use of prose!!!

[cancidas]

Unable to change flights we boarded the aircraft and figured that the blood curdling stench would be better if we were in the front where the air would filter back to the out the rear of the aircraft. As you guessed it, we were sitting in the last seat in front of the Lav (Little did we know how that would help us). The captain announced that we would be pushed back a little late as there were about 50 aircraft waiting before us and we needed to take on more fuel of the wait. We pushed back 15 minutes late and sat...and sat....and sat! After 1 hour the pilot turned off 2 engines and the aircraft went from hot to a hell that can not be explained. Nancy had her nose pushed as deep into my wet armpit as humanly possible. She would moan to me that she loved me soo much in case we would not make it thru the flight (seriously!). Every now and then I would smell the bathroom and I was very relieved to smell the nasty stench from the bathroom (it was welcome to my nose compared to what I was normally smelling). I was remembering the time I was in a 747 over the pacific in the jump seat where we had a rithmic pounding for 1 hour and we were free falling for 10 feet at a rate of once every 8 seconds or so... They would not allow us to descend and they were being real as$es, Engineer threw up all over my feet, the copilot blew chunks all over his instruments and I tried to get out of the cockpit but got thrown into the Engineers vomit on the floor exiting thus being exactly like the cartoon posted earlier...(not sure if the pilot ever blew). Thinking that it was not as bad as what I was currently going threw as I was able to take off my clothes and wash out in the sink and hang up to let dry while I was sitting in the top in my underwear!..... That was not fun but it was nothing like this! 3 hours waiting and the pilot says that we would need to turn back and get more gas and then get back to the end of the line! Nancy tells me that is it and we are not going to AZ, the minute they open the door we are done and thank god as she could not say on-board for an entire trip to AZ. Right on cue, the pilot comes on the PA again as says that there was a break in the fog and we were number 10 to take off and we just might be able to pull this off. At that time Nancy's head splits in half 1and an alien comes out....... sorry. Yea, we take off after 3 hours of cooking on the ground and now it gets cooler in the aircraft but that does not help the smell... The flight was uneventful and the smell did not get any better the entire way.... in the car on the way back to my parents home we had the windows open the entire way, in 100+ degrees and there was no discussion. Not seeing my parents for a year and not saying one word the entire way home was rough but nothing would have been able to prepare me for that flight or how bad a smell can be. Nothing would ever make me believe that a smell could be worse than vomit itself but it was. If I am ever put in that position again, I will walk to Arizona thank you.

think that was bad? oh this is nothing! you should've been with us five, six months ago. OH! you talk about puke! we rain into a hailstorm over the sea of japan, right? everybody's retching their guts out! the pilot shot his lunch all over the windshield and i barf on the radio! knocked it out completely, and it wasn't that lightweight stuff, either. it was that chunky industrial weight puke. here, want a bite?

That's all you got, Fred? A few hours in a smelly airplane? I was expecting so much more from your build up. I had two pilots try to kill me!

anything like IPs smacking you on the side of the helmet for making a stupid mistake? i read a story where a pilot going through BFT just let go of the helo after his third or fourth time on the receiving end. the IP never flew with him again.