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Thread: advice on meetin this girl::

  1. #16
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    Our first date was a bit different than what you might be going into for many many reasons, but one thing holds true. ASSESS the situation...just try and feel it out the best you can and things should go smoothly. Especially since you don't want to ruin her impression of you being a great guy, and it seems as though there is a definite friendship chemistry there, you should accept the possibility that you might work better as friends. Even if a girl is very pretty and you have a lot in common, you have to remember that not everyone is compatible romantically. If you keep that in mind, the comfort level should maintain, and you'll be able to follow each other's lead.

    Hope we're helping you!

  2. #17
    Administrator PhilDernerJr's Avatar
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    Honestly, I've met women off of the internet before. Without being face to face and actually seeing how you INTERACT, it's tough to build TRUE feelings off of the internet and phone. Internet or not, you can take two people that are sweet, caring and have the SAME interests, but if you don't have that connection when together, it just won't work.

    One thing about getting to know someone online romantically is that people usually build up this amazing personality-image of how a person if in their heads. That vision in that person's imagination is what they develop feelings on, and all too often, the reality doesn't match what you were expecting.

    Talking to her online is ok. But you can't see her gestures or mannerisms. You can't see that look in someone's eye that tells you if they are lying or sincere. You can't see how you interact with affection, or deal with problems.

    Therefore, I think it's important to maybe gain interest in someone online, but never let your feelings get too wrapped up, because you won't be able to see what a person is really about until you are face to face. And even then, you could be wrong.
    Email me anytime at [email protected].

  3. #18
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    yeaa thats deff true phil but imho since i know her friends and stuff that she seems like " who she said she is " and i hope thats the case. Eventhough i havent met her yet i think shes a really nice girl and i told her shes beautiful too weither that helps or not. I just hope this all works out -a-o-k ya know - how did they turn out to be when u met them phil?
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  4. #19
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    Are you asking Phil how it went when he met women from the internet? haha...well, obviously not TOO great, considering he's with me now ;)

    Also, whether or not she is who she and her friends say she is, you guys might just not be compatible. Don't get your hopes up. The worst thing to have is expectations, because then you have a better chance of being disappointed.

  5. #20
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    yeaa and like what phil said thats truee too but lets all hope it goes good and lets hope she is who she said she is =-) eveyone plzz keep ur fingers crossed- mann mel and phill are good with advice =P as well as the others who participated in this topic too =)
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  6. #21
    Administrator PhilDernerJr's Avatar
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    Well, it's not about whether she is who she says she is and not evne about whether you have stuff in common or not. It's about a CONNECTION, that CLICK, that I just don't think is possible to feel online.

    Sorry for mentioning past experiences in MEls presence, but I've had a wide range of date outcomes, internet and real. The most important thing is to not get your hopes up and don't settle for less than what you want and DESERVE. I've walked out on dates because of a girl's inappropriate behavior, or kindly ended them early if I just didn't think it was working out.

    You might show up and this girl might not like you, or you might not like her. Keep in mind that there will be more in your future to pick from. You don't need this girl or her approval, so if it's not working out, don't get upset, don't get angry, just move on. There' ll be another around the corner.
    Email me anytime at [email protected].

  7. #22
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    well thats deff somethin to think about but i wonder what are the chances of it working out a-ok ya no. its just somethin i would like to know. and maybe this will work or not work out. =) like i said lets just keep our fingers crossed =-)
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  8. #23
    Administrator PhilDernerJr's Avatar
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    Though the chance of you and her working out might be ok, the odds of her being THE ONE are even smaller. People usually go through several or many many relationships before finding the right one for them. Though you shouldn't expect it to fail, you NEED TO prepare yourself for the possibility of it not working, else you'll end up hurt or scorned.

    Going into things with a positive attitude, yet NO expectations also helps you stay calm and be yourself more.
    Email me anytime at [email protected].

  9. #24
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    yeaa cuz i mean if i am not calm maybe that would hurt things even more. also when u2 first met- how did u break the ice as far as convos go - i mean ino i can bring up a few since she does live near ISP =-) but i just want to no wht else should i bring up cuz ino she cant wait till i fly her to the bahamas and stuff... and shes not tht greddy person. or at least i hope..
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  10. #25
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    Like I said before, you can't really compare us to you. First of all, we are much older and experienced (that's not meant to be an insult) and also, we DID end up having a lot of chemistry and things in common. We are also very similar in how we interact with people, and that made things go even more smoothly. It's really all about chemistry. There aren't any odds that you or anyone else can put on this.

    Also, don't promise her anything extravagant...that's no way into a DECENT woman's heart.

  11. #26
    Moderator Matt Molnar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mellyrose
    Also, don't promise her anything extravagant...that's no way into a DECENT woman's heart.

    How big a gift will get me entry to her vajin?
    Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem.
    All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them under control.
    I trust you are not in too much distress. —Captain Eric Moody, British Airways Flight 9

  12. #27
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    thanx guyz for all ur advice and lets just hope it all works out great- and from what my friends who know her have been tellin me and these ppl i have seen b4 are all trust worthy. now the only thing left to do is keep our fingers crossed- mel and phil thanx a billion. but as far as the flowres thing - i was thinkin just a rose and a teddy bear- its just somethin i have to do cuz shes helped me out through alotta garbage in which i cant really mention here. and that would be the reason why- not to buy her love- hopefully ill have that already. thanx guys u guys are great friends to me =)

    ps- if ur a little nervous - is it ok for you to show a girl that you are.
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  13. #28
    Senior Member Nick's Avatar
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    Lie about yourself, don't talk about your past, and roll in a sweet whip.

  14. #29
    Senior Member N790SW's Avatar
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    advice on meetin this girl::

    good one nick - ill roll in a nice ferrari - wear a suit and sweeep her off her feet =P
    -Bobby Catone

    ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.

  15. #30
    Moderator USAF Pilot 07's Avatar
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    Dude don't stress it. Either it's going to work or it's not. Like Phil said, it's that "Click" and chemistry that will most likely ultimately decide whether or not the relationship will or will not work.

    This sounds like your first "date" and understandably you're nervous about making a good first impression and making the girl like you.

    That being said, at first you WILL act differently around her than you normally do. But the "acting differently" should not be too forced. That "click" or chemistry, if it's there, may not be apparent your first date or two. Complementing your date, "being a gentleman", holding certain things back that you'd normally say or do in front of your friends are all things most guys try to do on their first date. You want to establish a "comfortable" relationship, and you don't make to make the girl feel uncomfortable or afraid to open up and talk or be like "who is this guy?!" before really getting to know you. You want to make an effort to act "gentlemanly". It sounds that having talked to her on the phone will make this easier than it would if you were on a blind date (in the traditional sense).
    At the same time, you don't want to be constantly bombarding her with compliments and the like, because after a while the girl will probably get tired of it, and will begin to believe that you're just saying these things to be nice.
    You want to sound sincere in everything you say and do.

    After a while you two will either start to develop a chemistry that is there, and feel more comfortable around each other and begin to open up your "personal" lives up to each other a little more, or the chemistry just won't be there. There's something about being with and around a person that can't be felt over the phone or the internet.

    Too many guys, myself in past instances included, try too hard to make a girl they like, who really doesn't have the same feelings towards them, and try to make something work out of nothing. Guys will spend money, many times money they don't have, on girls, or will treat them like "goddesses" (with no real sincerity behind it), just hoping maybe the girl will start to develop feelings for them. Ultimately these guys are never truly happy themselves because they are trying to make a relationship that wasn't meant to work, work; and many of these guys (again myself included) end up kicking themselves for trying so hard and expending so much energy, "heart" and money on someone who never felt the same way about them.

    In short, I say be yourself but have some tact (if you don't have any) at first and then start to open up a little more. After a while there'll either be something there or there won't. You'll know it, and you'll know if she feels the same way or not. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't. Don't expend your energy, money and hurt your heart trying to make something work.

    Anyway, most of this advice is for a few dates down the road, and some of it may be confusing; I apologize if it is. I tried to put it the way I feel and as simply as possible, but it's tough to describe, because after a while of being around girls and being in the whole "scene" you'll either know if there's something there or not, and if you two are compatible.

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