Aviation News

March 26, 2010

The Lav: Japan Fights Flight Attendant Fetishists; Frequently Flying Finns to Earn Free Floppers

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By: Andy Bokanev
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jal-fa100
The Lav is a new column where we dump all of the week’s weird news into one stinky post. Let us know what you think.

JAL flight attendantEmbattled national carrier Japan Airlines (JAL) is making headlines for a change not related to its poor financial state and the tough road ahead. If you think that air travel has lost any remaining sex appeal, then you will be surprised to find that JAL is doing everything it can to ensure that the uniforms of the 2700 or so cabin crew members slated to be laid off in the coming month do not get sold to sex clubs. That’s right: sex clubs. Apparently, flight attendant uniforms are being sold at a premium to Japanese role-playing fetish clubs, especially if the uniform is accompanied by a Polaroid of the original owner wearing the uniform. Beyond the fetish factor, JAL is concerned with the security issues that arise from flight crew uniforms hitting the free market (or should I say, $100/hr market), but claims that each uniform comes with a unique serial number that allows the carrier to trace the offending outfit back to the offending employee. So, if you are in Osaka and stumble upon a club called Air Touch, you may get offered more than just coffee or tea. Although whoever still maintains this fetish has obviously never flown on Colgan Air.

ATW Airline of the Year Air New Zealand is gearing up it’s viral campaign against its low cost competitors Jetstar, Virgin Blue and Tiger by rolling out advertisments for the new discount airline SaverJet:

SaverJet comes on the heels of ANZ’s Cougar campaign that kicked up some waves and offended some viewers (mostly in the Sex and the City demographic):

Finland’s national carrier Finnair has begun offering its frequent flyers a little more than upgrades and free champagne—boob jobs. That’s right: for just over 3 million air miles you can equip yourself with a set of new floatation devices. Not interested in a chest upgrade? You can also use your Finnair miles towards botox, hair transplants and other procedures that ironically are not recommended before long-haul flights. The Finns don’t seem to be worried about the latest terror alert about jihadists using explosives-laden breast implants to take down airliners.

Dubai-based long-haul giant Emirates reminded its mostly expat workforce that it is not cool to be sexually active. Two flight attendants were arrested and jailed for what is usually the domain of tweens and administrative assistants worldwide—sexting.  The couple involved are facing three months imprisonment after the prosecutors’ initial attempt to get a six month sentence followed by deportation failed after any evidence of any actual sexual encounters failed to materialize.  The charge? Coercion to commit sin. Let this be a lesson to you. If you want to get it on in the UAE, keep technology out of it.

Are you stuck at the Munich Airport with some time to kill? Why not check out the brand new Lufthansa lounge in Terminal 2 that Lufthansa claims to be the very first airport terminal beer garden in the world. The lounge experience is enhanced by wraparound Bavarian views and louder intercom announcements.